When I started thinking about the classic valentine heart from a J perspective, my head went directly to two things:

1.The Hebrew word lev 32

2 And I also thought about something that I enjoyed studying once called Duties of the Heart, Chovot ha Levanot in Hebrew written in Spain in the 12th century.  Since this was a piece of ethical literature, it suggested to me that, in the Jewish understanding, a heart must have moral duties in addition to circulatory ones. 

Our tradition teaches us about many different aspects of the heart: 

We read that Pharaoh’s heart was “hardened” toward the Jewish people.

We pray to love God with all of our heart and with all of our soul.

 AND the concept of “broken heart” actually comes from Torah, too.  Psalm 34:18

But none of these really makes clear the concept of heart in J. I’m going to try:

For early rabbis it was not only a body part.  It was the place where you think and make sense of the world.  It is where wisdom dwells, where we feel emotions, and the seat of intelligence.

I found an amazing quote from the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Baba Batra that seems to cover it all and also feels really contemporary. 

“Do not stand too long, for standing too long is harmful to the heart.” But there’s a twist. It also says ” A heart that is not used, one that is not active becomes insensitive to the needs and pressures of the outside community, deteriorates and can no longer contribute to the health of the entire body.” I understand that to suggest that the heart does the work of what today we might consider our moral conscience. 

 What’s the Deal with Jews and Valentine’s Day? Are Jews not allowed to celebrate?

A number of rulings have been written in response to questions of whether or not Jewish law allows for the celebration of non-Jewish holidays such as Valentine’s Day. The most relevant is from Rabbi Moshe Isserles, (Poland,1520-1572) who explains that there are four criteria that must be met in order to permit Jewish celebration of rituals initiated by Gentiles :

1. Does the activity have a secular origin or  secular value?
2. Can one rationally explain the ritual apart from the gentile holiday?
3. If there are idolatrous origins, have they disappeared?
4. Are the activities actually consistent with Jewish tradition?

In the case of Valentine’s Day, one may certainly argue that the rituals performed today do meet these criteria. 

More recently Rabbi Moshe Feinstein observed: ‘Thus, it is obvious in my opinion, that even in a case where something would be considered a prohibited gentile custom, if many people do it for reasons unrelated to their religion or law, but rather because it is pleasurable to them, there is no prohibition.

Today, however, many communities discourage or prohibit any recognition of the day. There is nothing about the contemporary traditions of Valentine’s Day — cards, flowers, chocolate –that seems overtly religious. But the holiday’s full name of St. Valentine’s Day certainly implies that it has Christian roots.

Thing is we know almost nothing about this St. Valentine. The stories associated with him are not historical, but rather originate in a number of legends that have troubled scholars. 

Academics aren’t the only ones with doubts.  In 1969, the Catholic Church removed Valentine’s Day from its calendar as all they could historically corroborate about him was his burial date—February 14th.  So, although it evokes the legend of a saint, Valentine’s Day is not officially recognized as a religious holiday.

A quick Internet search on Jews and Valentine’s Day yielded the following:  Orthodox rabbis advised not to participate in Valentine’s Day traditions because of the holiday’s association with the saint (as well as some not so savory pagan rituals), while Conservative and Reform rabbis leaned towards, “Sure, it’s okay to buy your significant other flowers and chocolates in celebration of your love—on February 14th and any other day of the year.”  

But most often today the conversation is re-directed to a Jewish holiday that’s become associated with the same sentiments of love of romance:  Tu B’Av, the 15th Day of Av, is both an ancient and modern holiday. Originally it served as a matchmaking day for couples before the second fall of Jerusalem.  The idea has experienced something of a revival in modern times. Many modern-day Israeli Jews treat the holiday as, for lack of a better term, a Jewish Valentine’s Day, sharing flowers, romantic dinners and even proposing marriage on Tu B’Av.

So where does this leave us?  As for me, I did already indulge in some dark Belgian chocolate and Norm and I exchanged cards.  But maybe also I’ll take a hint from those rabbis and mark my calendar for Aug 12th, when the price of roses and chocolates won’t be so inflated.

Can’t leave the topic without making a plug for the Halachic Organ Donor’s Society.  True, that the original halachic definition of death was cessation of cardiac activity, but now, with contemporary understanding, the vast majority of Rabbis, worldwide, of all denominations, accept cessation of brain activity as the definition of death, very relevant to Jewish participation in organ donation.  

I. INTRODUCTION

In the 1960’s when Rabbi Lawrence Kushner, was a rabbinical student in New York, … he was sitting in a little hole-in-the-wall dairy restaurant in the Lower East Side, trying to negotiate his Talmud assignment. There was practically no one else in the place. But, an older man was sitting a few tables away. “Nu, young man,” said the onlooker, “I see you are a student. “So, let’s have an argument.” “But I DO believe in God,” replied the young Kushner, thrown entirely off balance. “Okay,” said the old Jew, “so I don’t.”
At the time R. Kushner simply didn’t understand the point, but he used many times later as a standard example of religious dialogue within Judaism.
.
In serious Judaism, we don’t close the book on good, important arguments. We keep them going. Arguing is valued and encouraged. Yeshiva study halls are nothing like libraries. They are noisy.
.II. THE CONCEPT OF MACHLOKET
We’ve all learned that it’s bad to argue. ……..
Last thing you’d expect would be for me to encourage it.

Hidden Brain podcast. Disagreements breed creativity, lack thereof breed apathy

Whole body of knowledge around a term— Machloket.
More than a disagreement……a constructive disagreement, a sacred disagreement

Sacred disagreements keep the discussion alive, keep the door open, adaptable to new realities

Disagreement b’shem shamayim
REPEAT

Rabbi Amy Eilberg, An argument fought for the sake of Heaven – i.e. for ultimate Truth and Goodness … will to generate truth and goodness as long as both parties push each other towards the common good- that is greater than any small-minded, selfish desire–

The purpose of any mahloket should be for the greater good. To improve the world. (b’shem shamayim)

Anyone ever had an argument? How did it go? How much of it is “b’shem shamayim?
Arguing is everywhere. Public arena to family dinner table and Twitter and FB.

Our religious tradition promotes disagreement while maintaining unity.
Current rabbinic conversations on: technology on shabbat and/or holidays, gender equality, drone warfare, wearing a mask, carrying a gun, virtual minyan, lock down/open up. And yes, our own conversations about climate change, where it’s safe to go, screen time and what’s for dinner.

Question: So the concept of sacred disagreements? Why is this a good thing?

Benefits: Keep evolving…….Keep the door open
III KEY CONCEPTS

A. The Talmud relates the story of a great rivalry between the descendants of Hillel and Shammai, disciples of two of the greatest rabbis of the 1st century. The school of Hillel tended to be lenient and the school of Shammai strict. At one point, the Talmud says, they were contesting 316 different issues.

And yet, the Talmud reports, the two rival camps always treated each other with kindness and affection, and their children never stopped marrying one another. That was because their arguments were limited to the matters at hand and never became personal.

B. WHILE BOTH SIDES ARE RIGHT ……

Then the Talmud goes on to say that while both sides are right, “the law is in agreement with Beit Hillel” (Eruvin 13b). Because their scholars “were kind and modest; they studied their own rulings and those of Beit Shammai, and were even so [humble] as to mention the opinions of Beit Shammai before their own….”

They deserved to lead, the text teaches, because of their conduct-what were those things?
They demonstrated respect for the opinions of their adversaries.
They did not demonize those with whom they disagreed.
They tried to faithfully represent the opposing view.
To do this they had to listen well and sincerely try to understand the others’ perspective
They demonstrated the mark of true leadership: secure in their own convictions, yet hum enough to make room for opposing opinions.
This is civility at its best.

Clearly the rabbis wanted Hillel’s gentle and inclusive approach to “win” most of the time, but not to win in a way that would end the discussion. The answer is not in the yea or nay, but in the relationship created by the two sides as a result of hanging in. The resolution happens when the dominant side incorporates the needs and worries of the weaker side into its own argument.

SUPER HARD Victory is achieved for everyone when both sides continue to recognize the legitimacy of their counterparts.”

One argument between Beit Hillel (House of Hillel) and Beit Shammai (House of Shammai) lasted three years. Each side insisted: “The law is according to our view.” Finally, a bat kol (heavenly voice) declared: “Eilu v’eilu divrei Elohim chaim —These and these are both the words of the living God” (Talmud Eruvin 13b).

How could two opposing sides both be right? Because both contained truth. The heavenly voice was teaching that no human being has a monopoly on truth.

When we are embroiled in a dispute we tend to assume that “in order for me to be right, you must be wrong.” But that is not always the case. Rabbi Brad Hirshfield’s book.
you don’t have to read the book. I’ll tell you
THE MESSAGE IS— IN EVERY INTERPRETATION, THERE IS SOME ELEMENT OF TRUTH

IV. THE MECHANICS OF ARGUING

What this is:
Courteous and polite actions, show respect, Watch your language….feathers… By holding your tongue, Let them talk count to three, breathe
Find common ground.
BE AN ACTIVE LISTENER, validating by attention and REPITITION,
Keep in mind the greater purpose. FOR THE SAKE OF HEAVEN

What this is not:
Proving that another person is wrong or making him look stupid
Tolerating the other guy.
Don’t Interrupt. Waiting for the other guy to finish, not listening. for your chance to make your points
Much more than about “winning.”

It IS about civil discourse to bring about a good result. In other words, b’shem shamayim

Where this applies:
Everywhere — small things matter
Negotiating chores
Heavier, Middle East peace, religion, politics, LGBTQ rights,

V. SHALOM V THE NEED TO STAND UP

A. SHALOM BAYIT Pick your battles

SHALOM BETTER THAN BEING RIGHT SOMETIMES
Shalom Bayit–Sometimes there is a case for silence, pick your battles.

Agree to disagree
.

B. BUT often the right thing to do IS TO Face the issue, employing the Jewish way,

Sometimes a machlochet b’shem shamayim can’t be avoided.
Being too polite
that some things are, and should be, intolerable to us. We retreat.

USY speaker, Jews in ovens, hate speech, bullying

I’m not the one. confidence, preparation, being nice, fear NEED conviction, guts,
Slam door, only talk to people with whom we agree, That’s another way to be guilty of retreat. Let evil go on and grow without a teachable moment.
There will always be differing opinions, based on lens, experience, situation

How might we create Machloket opportunities? Even if we don’t feel we convinced anyone, perhaps we at least got them thinking or opened a little crack in the door or warmed up our relationship?
LARRY.. Respectful request to stop messaging me.

So what comes into play?

1. Civility–The midrash says that “Derech eretz, the commandment to act with common decency, preceded the giving of the Torah”
   As Rabbi Joseph Telushkin explains, “God could imagine humankind existing for thousands of years without the Torah, but [God] could not imagine human beings existing without…civility”
2. Lubavitcher Rebbe, Express disagreement without being disagreeable
3. B’tzelem courtesy elevates us, validate, don’t humiliate, Our egos.

C. IMPORTANT…There may be times that we absolutely need to walk away.
Sometimes it’s best to skip a difficult conversation:
Is this the right person, right time, right place to talk about this? Based on what I know about this person and our relationship, what can I realistically hope to achieve by having this conversation?

VI. INTROSPECTIVE QUESTIONS/ SELF EVALUATION

Any experiences with Sacred arguing? Where applicable today?
When have you retreated?
When have you had a respectful conversation?
Do you ever repeat the person’s position?
When you are awaiting your turn, do you really listen to others or just look at your phone or watch?
Is it about winning?
How do we empower ourselves?
Comments?

VII. CONCLUSION

Daniel Chefec article on Jewish Joke, You’re right, too!
I believe we should use the Hillel-Shammai model to have CONSRUCTIVE ARGUMENTS that stay polite and civil, but that goes beyond politeness and civility toward true speaking and listening.

We need to be willing to voice our opinion and to listen to those of others with an open mind. Very often we fall into the trap of us v. them and try to make sure that our side wins.

Jewish history teaches us otherwise. The winning side is the one which keeps people working together for a common future: the one that listens to every person and becomes wiser for it.

I never dreamed that I’d be talking to so many people lately about joy and happiness, but it makes perfect sense.

You see, Happiness is particularly serious business in Judaism and there’s a lot to talk about. In fact, it’s so important that I have this verse on my computer screensaver: Zeh Ha YOM….asah hashem,
N gila, v nismacha bo. This is a day that G-d has made, rejoice and be happy in it.

Think of the many happiness-related words you know in Hebrew or Yiddish. Simcha, rina, gila, sameach, sason,–Seeking happiness and creating joy for others is very much a part of the Jewish job description and, since it’s now Elul, it’s time for each of us to conduct our own personal performance review to see how we’re measuring up on this quality as well as the others you know about. So let’s talk about some helpful things for you to consider during your introspection.

Torah doesn’t directly command us to be happy, even if it may seem so. Why? You can’t order someone to be happy. Feelings don’t work that way. However, acknowledging and honing in on joyful opportunities (the Torah would call it “rejoicing” ) does lead to feeling happy–Being happy. In other words. From an action comes a feeling. So…….

Finding joy takes work. It doesn’t just happen. You have to be willing to search for it. This could be though action or through attitude. How good are you at making joy happen?

II
First of all, be clear. Judaism is pro happiness. Judaism teaches that earthly pleasures are here for us to enjoy –not in excess, of course. There’s nothing sinful about a good meal, a nice house, jewelry or other things that please us. It’s in Torah. But it’s even more joyful to also provide such things for others .

When talking about finding joy, I absolutely must remind you of that VERY, VERY, VERY Jewish teaching of sameach b’chelko, which tells us to happy with what we have. To not obsess about what we don’t. Also, stop thinking about what didn’t happen and be thankful for what did. This strategy works!!!

III
We Jews have a built-in party every week. Shabbat. You’ve certainly heard the term oneg Shabbat but did you realize that ONEG means joy…Enjoyment of Shabbat. Shabbat rituals have great JOY POTENTIAL.
Even though it requires some work up front, once the prep is done, Shabbat can be extraordinary. Beginning with the extra ordinary act of lighting candles, a period of nice meals, guests, music and family and rest and walks and conversation—things that are outside of the ordinary, in other words– holy. If twenty-five hours is not realistic for you yet, carve out a partial shabbat and create some extra ordinary moments.

It’s exactly the same for holidays. When one is approaching, don’t say Oy VEY. Say YAY! Make plans to make them extra ordinary in some way for yourself and for others, if that applies.

I believe that Judaism is a feeling, bolstered by sweet experiences and making new memories. Make those memories for yourself and, if applicable, for the kids.

This also applies to special occasions and life cycle celebrations. Don’t downplay them. It’s right to really celebrate any kind of simcha. After all, simcha means HAPPINESS. Whether it be a birthday or a wedding or a bar mitzvah, include as many people has you can. I’m not advocating excess, but I am saying don’t say it’s NO BIG DEAL. It is a BIG DEAL . Zeh ha yom. Simple can be beautiful. Someone I know used to say that the people in attendance are the decorations. I love that! Recognizing that these moments are worthy of some thought, makes us appreciative of them. Nagila v nismacha bo.

Of course, Happiness mostly is about appreciating the small things, the mundane. That’s what brachot are for. To acknowledge and find joy in a slice of bread or a safe arrival at your destination, that’s JOY. Why rejoice? The alternative is to take things for granted and we don’t want that. That leads to misery, not joy.

Seek out those sh’hechiyanu moments and then express appreciation with focus and intention and an attitude of gratitude. When you look for things to make you happy, you’ll find them. ….

IV
A few more thoughts:

Hiddur
Hiddur mitzvah carries the idea of doing a mitzvah in the most beautiful way possible. – to make things as nice as you can. That explains all those beautiful chanukiot, challah covers, spice boxes, and talitot, for example. Embellishing a ritual mitzvah can be a beautiful and happy thing.

Song
AND We can’t forget how linked happiness can be with music. As the Baal shem tov said, not knowing the words IS NO EXCUSE, humming or la, la la-ing along is perfectly acceptable. Think NIGUUN.

Words matter a lot in Judaism. Using the right ones can change everything.
Choose your words ntentionally. when someone asks you how you are. I once was told that somebody with a chronic disease always answered with “I’m fantastic.” That uplifted the askers AND made him, in fact, feel better.

V
In the end, finding joy is hard work. You can’t be happy if you’re always just a spectator. You have to seek out things and make them happen…. sometimes tiny things and, sometimes, big things.

If you’re the kind of person who immediately comes up with reasons NOT to do something before considering why you should, then you’re not filling the mandate to act joyfully: Nagila v nsmecha bo. Stop putting up barriers.

When you have a happy moment, focus and enjoy it fully, not in a guarded way. Worrying doesn’t protect anyone against potential sadness in the future.
Enjoy your joy. Thank God for all the good you experience every moment of every day. Live your happy life NOW.
IF OR WHEN pain comes, you will deal with it, and you’ll probably deal with it better than you think.
But now, right this minute, go find something to be happy about.

I recently had a moving experience—literally. My husband and I sold our home of twenty years plus, packed up, and (mostly) moved to Cleveland. A flood of cards, calls, emails and FB messages ensued. I felt so grateful and very humbled. I never dreamed so many people would want to say goodbye…friends, former colleagues, former students…some whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. It was emotionally overwhelming, personally empowering, and beautiful beyond words.

Yet what really surprised and touched me were the gestures from people whom I’d hired to help me over the years, mostly doing maintenance and repairs around the house…people I called my “team.” There was the yardman, the sprinkler man, the people who did miscellaneous repairs, and the woman who cleaned my house.   I was so touched by their hugs, their words, their gifts and the special effort some took to come by.  I always tried to be respectful, considerate of their needs and paid them fairly and promptly. Is that a big deal? Isn’t that what everyone did?

Then this past week, I read a commentary on Parshat Nitzavim that really hit home. I love this parasha, but I’ve never before focused on this one particular item. In one phrase, Moshe refers to whom his comments apply —“your tribal heads, your elders and your officials, all the men of Israel; your children your wives, even your stranger your camp, from the one who chops your wood to the one who draws your water.” (Deut. 29:9-10) Your, your, yours. The foreigner, who is “yours,” is your responsibility. The quality of his life is in your hands. He is not to be just tolerated, but rather counted and nurtured. In other words, those are “your peeps” and you are theirs.

It gave me a good feeling to read this just a few days after all the hugs described above. I never felt that I had treated “my peeps” in any extraordinary way. On this mitzvah, at least, I guess I’ve done okay. Memories of the exhausting packing and loading will fade. But my lasting memory will be that of the huge outpouring of love.

This concept, of course, extends beyond our own “team,” and applies to all the invisible people who maintain order and cleanliness in our worlds… the crop pickers, the cleaners, the packers, the drivers, the stockers…. all of them. Once I was on cruise that stopped in a beautiful port in the Dominican Republic. I found my self face-to-face with the woman cleaning the restroom floor. I still very much recall how she smiled when I acknowledged her hard work and thanked her for keeping that restroom so pristine. Apparently, she doesn’t hear that much. These folks, too, are part of us.   They are “ours” in a way. Do not overlook them. Do not treat them as trivial or invisible. That only diminishes each of us.

 

 

I was once pleased to see a man, dressed in Chassidic garb be exceedingly kind and patient during an unfortunate mixup on a plane.   Since several dozen people were curiously watching this highly visible Jew,   I was proud and relieved to see him gain respect and honor for himself and for our people.   Many other people would have become abusive and obnoxious under the same circumstances. They would, however, only been seen by the other passengers as loud and difficult individuals, not as loud and difficult Jews.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to learn a lesson  taught me some years ago by a very wise world traveler. It is that Jews carry an extra burden in that, when they act inappropriately, their actions may be interpreted as being characteristic of all Jews. Conversely, when they act well, it reflects positively on all Jews. We are often thrust into the position of representing all the Jewish people, whether we like it or not. This reality can be viewed as a burden or as an opportunity.

I believe that many Jews lack perspective on our role in the world today. We don’t realize how much impact we can have on peoples’ opinions.   We are a tiny group, an infinitesimal percentage of the earth’s population. Most of the world doesn’t know what a Jew is and, if they have an inkling, it’s from second hand sources, not first hand experience.   We tell ourselves that others have a basic comfort level, understanding and acceptance of Jewish presence and world view. After all, in today’s world, at least in the United States, don’t all Americans know us? No. I meet educated people every day here and in my travels who tell me that they are not aware of ever having met a Jewish person before. This is even more the case abroad.

Those of us who are not visibly Jewish have the luxury of choice. When something good happens, see if you can make it known that you are a kind Jewish person. Do it subtly and creatively. For example, when wished a merry Christmas maybe you can say, “Thank you and same to you, but actually I celebrate Chanukah.” We also have to remember that negative actions can have ramifications, too. If you should do something less than commendable, try to keep your religious identification to yourself. We Jews don’t need more reinforcement of negative images. Among people who already know you are Jewish, you need to be on special behavior with the ever present realization that what you do may very well be generalized to other Jews, who are undeserving of criticism. Perhaps this realization improves our conduct. Or at least it should.

There is a marvelous mitzvah project going on in the community right now. I was told that only the “honchos” know that it is being done by a Jewish organization. The beneficiaries don’t know that Jewish people are the ones helping them. I ask why not? Why couldn’t each volunteer wear a name badge with the name of the organization? And, if someone should ask, why couldn’t they explain just what their organization is? Many of us do good deeds regularly, but neglect to let the receivers learn an essential detail about us. We work as “undercover Jews.” This simple information delivered in a positive manner could permanently shape attitudes among people who have never before met a Jew. This is an appropriate time to be emissaries for our people in an constructive way and we should take advantage of such opportunities.

I’d like to ask you a big favor. Blow your cover. When you do a good thing, if it’s at all possible, subtly let people know that that you are Jewish.   This helps mold the receiver’s attitude favorably towards all of us. We must use our kindnesses and positive actions to counteract the abundant negative images of Jews that exist out there. A single action of yours could benefit Jews everywhere. Make this a personal activism. If you are too uncomfortable about your Judaism to admit it publicly, it’s time for some serious introspection. Ask yourself why. Work through it! You’ll be the better for it. We all will.

.

I was on a family ski trip. I learned something new. No! I didn’t learn how to ski moguls.   I learned how to awe. Yes, awe.

This was several years back during my master’s program in Jewish Studies. One of my professors had assigned a book which I threw in my suitcase as I packed. Talk about serendipity! I started reading it while vacationing among the mountains of south central Colorado. Abraham Joshua Heschel, in God in Search of Man, stated that we humans must learn to “awe.”   What he meant was that we need to develop our ability to stop whatever we are doing and behold things with wonder, reverence, and appreciation.   I looked around with new eyes at the splendid and breathtaking Colorado landscape.   I saw the snowy mountains and the deep blue sky as if for the very first time. My soul soared and I felt a closeness to God. I knew exactly what the author was talking about.

I had been at that same resort several times before in the very same snowy setting and I had always appreciated the majesty of the place. But on that morning, I began to “awe” as well. I pondered from where all that beauty and majesty had sprung. I also thought about what it represented. Gradually, I could “see” beyond the mountains. I could feel God. This brought on a certain understanding and, most importantly, a much needed feeling of serenity.   I’ve practiced “awing” quite a bit since that morning and I’ve gotten quite good at it. I, hyperactive ME, have actually learned to pause once in awhile. Now I take less for granted and find myself offering spontaneous prayers of thanksgiving.

Awing does need to be practiced. It’s not something that comes naturally since humans are pretty self-absorbed and always rushed.   Just as reading Heschel raised my consciousness, we all need to put ourselves on an “awing” exercise program. If you are wondering how your life would be better if you got really good at this skill, consider this: From awing comes appreciation and from appreciation come gratitude and humility. As Rabbi Heschell says, “ The beginning of wisdom is awe.”

This is not to say that awing is to be reserved only for situations that are big and dramatic. Though that would clearly be a place for a beginner to start his “awing” program, Heschel makes the point that there is something sacred in every human being and in every event. I now “awe” at a baby’s tiny fingers, at an athlete’s perfect movements and at my own gift of sight.   It becomes a worthwhile goal for each and every one of us, therefore, to learn to sense wonder even in small things.   Again quoting from God in Search of Man, “awe is a way of being in rapport with the mystery of all reality.”

Contrast this with the human tendencies to obsess about our own petty problems and to rush through each day in a frenzy.

Learning to awe is a useful antidote to negativism.   The ability to “awe” well also gives us the gift of perspective , thereby diminishing our feelings of personal outrage at minor inconveniences and increasing our gratitude for our blessings. When we “awe,” we not only appreciate the miracles and marvels, but we see the grandeur of the world and our own relative smallness.   People who can “awe” are seldom self-important. Instead, they realize their relative insignificance and tend, as our sages tell us, to be happy “each with his/her own portion, ”sameach b’ chelko.“ Awing” also slows us down. Not only can we SMELL the roses, but we become more serene from the experience.

Awing does have some serious side-effects: tranquillity, humility and sanctity. When you really get good at it, life takes on a different twist. You will become aware of the wonder and holiness in most everything and you will be able to see them. Holiness where you might least expect it? I am reminded of the prayer we traditionally say upon going to the bathroom for the first time each morning. We give thanks for our orifices. How lucky we are that they work: How easy to take such a thing for granted, or to debase it. How marvelous to see awe in the process and to give thanks to God.

Please try this exercise. First thing each morning for the next four or five days, step outside to pause and to awe. Then move the exercise indoors. Finding things at which to marvel is easy if you try. You’ll be richer for it.