When I started thinking about the classic valentine heart from a J perspective, my head went directly to two things:

1.The Hebrew word lev 32

2 And I also thought about something that I enjoyed studying once called Duties of the Heart, Chovot ha Levanot in Hebrew written in Spain in the 12th century.  Since this was a piece of ethical literature, it suggested to me that, in the Jewish understanding, a heart must have moral duties in addition to circulatory ones. 

Our tradition teaches us about many different aspects of the heart: 

We read that Pharaoh’s heart was “hardened” toward the Jewish people.

We pray to love God with all of our heart and with all of our soul.

 AND the concept of “broken heart” actually comes from Torah, too.  Psalm 34:18

But none of these really makes clear the concept of heart in J. I’m going to try:

For early rabbis it was not only a body part.  It was the place where you think and make sense of the world.  It is where wisdom dwells, where we feel emotions, and the seat of intelligence.

I found an amazing quote from the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Baba Batra that seems to cover it all and also feels really contemporary. 

“Do not stand too long, for standing too long is harmful to the heart.” But there’s a twist. It also says ” A heart that is not used, one that is not active becomes insensitive to the needs and pressures of the outside community, deteriorates and can no longer contribute to the health of the entire body.” I understand that to suggest that the heart does the work of what today we might consider our moral conscience. 

 What’s the Deal with Jews and Valentine’s Day? Are Jews not allowed to celebrate?

A number of rulings have been written in response to questions of whether or not Jewish law allows for the celebration of non-Jewish holidays such as Valentine’s Day. The most relevant is from Rabbi Moshe Isserles, (Poland,1520-1572) who explains that there are four criteria that must be met in order to permit Jewish celebration of rituals initiated by Gentiles :

  1. Does the activity have a secular origin or  secular value?
  2. Can one rationally explain the ritual apart from the gentile holiday?
  3. If there are idolatrous origins, have they disappeared?
  4. Are the activities actually consistent with Jewish tradition?

In the case of Valentine’s Day, one may certainly argue that the rituals performed today do meet these criteria. 

More recently Rabbi Moshe Feinstein observed: ‘Thus, it is obvious in my opinion, that even in a case where something would be considered a prohibited gentile custom, if many people do it for reasons unrelated to their religion or law, but rather because it is pleasurable to them, there is no prohibition.

Today, however, many communities discourage or prohibit any recognition of the day. There is nothing about the contemporary traditions of Valentine’s Day — cards, flowers, chocolate –that seems overtly religious. But the holiday’s full name of St. Valentine’s Day certainly implies that it has Christian roots.

Thing is we know almost nothing about this St. Valentine. The stories associated with him are not historical, but rather originate in a number of legends that have troubled scholars. 

Academics aren’t the only ones with doubts.  In 1969, the Catholic Church removed Valentine’s Day from its calendar as all they could historically corroborate about him was his burial date—February 14th.  So, although it evokes the legend of a saint, Valentine’s Day is not officially recognized as a religious holiday.

A quick Internet search on Jews and Valentine’s Day yielded the following:  Orthodox rabbis advised not to participate in Valentine’s Day traditions because of the holiday’s association with the saint (as well as some not so savory pagan rituals), while Conservative and Reform rabbis leaned towards, “Sure, it’s okay to buy your significant other flowers and chocolates in celebration of your love—on February 14th and any other day of the year.”  

But most often today the conversation is re-directed to a Jewish holiday that’s become associated with the same sentiments of love of romance:  Tu B’Av, the 15th Day of Av, is both an ancient and modern holiday. Originally it served as a matchmaking day for couples before the second fall of Jerusalem.  The idea has experienced something of a revival in modern times. Many modern-day Israeli Jews treat the holiday as, for lack of a better term, a Jewish Valentine’s Day, sharing flowers, romantic dinners and even proposing marriage on Tu B’Av.

So where does this leave us?  As for me, I did already indulge in some dark Belgian chocolate and Norm and I exchanged cards.  But maybe also I’ll take a hint from those rabbis and mark my calendar for Aug 12th, when the price of roses and chocolates won’t be so inflated.

Can’t leave the topic without making a plug for the Halachic Organ Donor’s Society.  True, that the original halachic definition of death was cessation of cardiac activity, but now, with contemporary understanding, the vast majority of Rabbis, worldwide, of all denominations, accept cessation of brain activity as the definition of death, very relevant to Jewish participation in organ donation.