I never dreamed that I’d be talking to so many people lately about joy and happiness, but it makes perfect sense.

You see, Happiness is particularly serious business in Judaism and there’s a lot to talk about. In fact, it’s so important that I have this verse on my computer screensaver: Zeh Ha YOM….asah hashem,
N gila, v nismacha bo. This is a day that G-d has made, rejoice and be happy in it.

Think of the many happiness-related words you know in Hebrew or Yiddish. Simcha, rina, gila, sameach, sason,–Seeking happiness and creating joy for others is very much a part of the Jewish job description and, since it’s now Elul, it’s time for each of us to conduct our own personal performance review to see how we’re measuring up on this quality as well as the others you know about. So let’s talk about some helpful things for you to consider during your introspection.

Torah doesn’t directly command us to be happy, even if it may seem so. Why? You can’t order someone to be happy. Feelings don’t work that way. However, acknowledging and honing in on joyful opportunities (the Torah would call it “rejoicing” ) does lead to feeling happy–Being happy. In other words. From an action comes a feeling. So…….

Finding joy takes work. It doesn’t just happen. You have to be willing to search for it. This could be though action or through attitude. How good are you at making joy happen?

II
First of all, be clear. Judaism is pro happiness. Judaism teaches that earthly pleasures are here for us to enjoy –not in excess, of course. There’s nothing sinful about a good meal, a nice house, jewelry or other things that please us. It’s in Torah. But it’s even more joyful to also provide such things for others .

When talking about finding joy, I absolutely must remind you of that VERY, VERY, VERY Jewish teaching of sameach b’chelko, which tells us to happy with what we have. To not obsess about what we don’t. Also, stop thinking about what didn’t happen and be thankful for what did. This strategy works!!!

III
We Jews have a built-in party every week. Shabbat. You’ve certainly heard the term oneg Shabbat but did you realize that ONEG means joy…Enjoyment of Shabbat. Shabbat rituals have great JOY POTENTIAL.
Even though it requires some work up front, once the prep is done, Shabbat can be extraordinary. Beginning with the extra ordinary act of lighting candles, a period of nice meals, guests, music and family and rest and walks and conversation—things that are outside of the ordinary, in other words– holy. If twenty-five hours is not realistic for you yet, carve out a partial shabbat and create some extra ordinary moments.

It’s exactly the same for holidays. When one is approaching, don’t say Oy VEY. Say YAY! Make plans to make them extra ordinary in some way for yourself and for others, if that applies.

I believe that Judaism is a feeling, bolstered by sweet experiences and making new memories. Make those memories for yourself and, if applicable, for the kids.

This also applies to special occasions and life cycle celebrations. Don’t downplay them. It’s right to really celebrate any kind of simcha. After all, simcha means HAPPINESS. Whether it be a birthday or a wedding or a bar mitzvah, include as many people has you can. I’m not advocating excess, but I am saying don’t say it’s NO BIG DEAL. It is a BIG DEAL . Zeh ha yom. Simple can be beautiful. Someone I know used to say that the people in attendance are the decorations. I love that! Recognizing that these moments are worthy of some thought, makes us appreciative of them. Nagila v nismacha bo.

Of course, Happiness mostly is about appreciating the small things, the mundane. That’s what brachot are for. To acknowledge and find joy in a slice of bread or a safe arrival at your destination, that’s JOY. Why rejoice? The alternative is to take things for granted and we don’t want that. That leads to misery, not joy.

Seek out those sh’hechiyanu moments and then express appreciation with focus and intention and an attitude of gratitude. When you look for things to make you happy, you’ll find them. ….

IV
A few more thoughts:

Hiddur
Hiddur mitzvah carries the idea of doing a mitzvah in the most beautiful way possible. – to make things as nice as you can. That explains all those beautiful chanukiot, challah covers, spice boxes, and talitot, for example. Embellishing a ritual mitzvah can be a beautiful and happy thing.

Song
AND We can’t forget how linked happiness can be with music. As the Baal shem tov said, not knowing the words IS NO EXCUSE, humming or la, la la-ing along is perfectly acceptable. Think NIGUUN.

Words matter a lot in Judaism. Using the right ones can change everything.
Choose your words ntentionally. when someone asks you how you are. I once was told that somebody with a chronic disease always answered with “I’m fantastic.” That uplifted the askers AND made him, in fact, feel better.

V
In the end, finding joy is hard work. You can’t be happy if you’re always just a spectator. You have to seek out things and make them happen…. sometimes tiny things and, sometimes, big things.

If you’re the kind of person who immediately comes up with reasons NOT to do something before considering why you should, then you’re not filling the mandate to act joyfully: Nagila v nsmecha bo. Stop putting up barriers.

When you have a happy moment, focus and enjoy it fully, not in a guarded way. Worrying doesn’t protect anyone against potential sadness in the future.
Enjoy your joy. Thank God for all the good you experience every moment of every day. Live your happy life NOW.
IF OR WHEN pain comes, you will deal with it, and you’ll probably deal with it better than you think.
But now, right this minute, go find something to be happy about.