Though we don’t talk about it much it’s rare to find a family without factures–that is people who won’t talk to people, people who cut ties, (ghost or unfriend in 2020 jargon.)  In doing so, they’ve made a choice. Acknowledging that, on some rare occasions, it could be for reasons of personal safety or sanity, usually the cut is make for some stupid point of pride or miscommunication.  When this happens, in my mind, this cutting off really speaks volumes about one’s character and values, and not so much about the precipitating event.   By severing they are making statements about:

 

What really matters to them?

Is it important to hear the other person’s side?

Should they/did they try to work it out?

How much of this is on  them?

 

I believe in Judaism’s core values of seeking peace and giving others the benefit of the doubt.  In fact, each of us has an obligation to privately and respectfully attempt to work things out.

Then there’s the really difficult obligation to forgive, sometimes even without the other person’s buy-in.  That’s where I fail.  Even at my age, I recognize that I’m a work in progress and that this must be my next self-improvement project.

But back to my message:

FAMILY MATTERS

RELATIONSHIPS MATTER

MAINTAINING CONNECTIONS MATTERS

MORE THAN ANYTHING!!

Do everything you can to mend the fence and you–cutters off, you prideful, shameful, ego-centric grudge holders—Shame on you for what you value and for what you don’t.