One of my favorite books a Wendy Mogel’s “Blessing of a Skinner Knee,” which provides great wisdom for parents of young children that is based on Jewish teachings and traditions. Several years ago her second book came out and I’m thrilled.  Titled, “Blessings of a B Minus,” this little paperback or ebook throws a life preserver to those who might define themselves as drowning parents of teens.  For reasons not important her, I can tell you that teens have long been m “specialty” and I’m a fan of “traditional” Jewish parenting values, even in today’s world.  Perhaps I should say “especially” in today’s world.

Wendy’s book packs quite a wallop.  You need to be prepared to reevaluate currents trends and to go against the stream. That shouldn’t be so hard, sine the stream is pretty polluted.  There is no way that I can )or should) summarize the book here.  But, since I have been saying many of the same thing for a long time, I’m going to list someJewish Parenting by Cheryl wisdom that she has reinforced or improved upon.

The Hebrew word for parents is horim, derived from the same root as morim, teachers.  Parents teach, mostly by example and by the opportunities they create.  Parents are not  pals, life preservers, or judges.  They are loving, benevolent and supportive dictators.

We often don’t really talk to our kids.  We talk at them.  We seldom listen, either.  We need to measure our words.  It’s time to bite our u and refrain from constantly commenting, critiquing or suggesting.

Our children are works in progress.  (Actually, we continue to be, as well.)  You don’t want to put them in serious harm’s way, but they do have to learn how to get out of jams by themselves.   Consider the Torah mandate to teach our children to swim.   Consider it a metaphor.  One learns through experience.

A little drinking, under the right circumstances is a good thing and leads to informed moderation. Judaism wisely has built in rituals that permit drinking.  Alcoholism was virtually unknown in the traditional Jewish community.  In short, when there is a proper place for experimenting with liquor, there’s little incentive to sneak around.

You cannot live your passions through your children.  If your kid is meant to be a baker, she should be a baker.   Though guidance and exposure are appropriate, your child was not put on this earth to fulfil your unfulfilled dreams—to finish what you started or be what you wanted.  It is his life and his accomplishments.  He is not your personal “ego building” machine.

Don’t deprive your child of the joy of doing something himself, getting out of his own hams and figuring things out for himself.  If you are there to intercede in everything, how will he ever learn self-reliance?  Same goes for the joy of earning something and delayed gratification.  Nothing is more empowering.